Ah, Spring Break, that marvelous time when college kids are ready to let loose and make memories they won't remember. But hold onto your beach hats because Florida does not have any of them. Governor Ron DeSantis is rolling out the welcome mat with one hand and brandishing the rulebook with the other.

Imagine DeSantis strutting into a press conference like a beachfront bouncer, flanked by Miami's finest and law enforcement heavyweights. He's the guardian of good times, determined to keep the peace and the volume down.

With a stern yet slightly amused expression, DeSantis declares, "Alright, party people, listen up. We're all for fun, but we've got standards. No chaos allowed on our watch."

Miami Beach Mayor Meiner jumps in, sounding like a concerned neighbor about to call the cops on a rowdy house party. "We've reached our limit with Spring Break antics," he says, probably shaking his head in disbelief. "So we're bringing in reinforcements and laying down the law. No exceptions."

And they mean business. They're slapping parking offenders with fines like they're playing a game of ticket tag. Plus, they're shutting down sidewalk cafes faster than you can say "bottoms up."

Prepare your wallets, non-residents! The towing rate will be a double whammy of the usual $516. As for Ocean Drive's sidewalk cafés, they'll be on a vacation of their own from March 8–10 and March 15–17.

Buckle up, folks! There's a DUI sobriety checkpoint setting up shop along the 400 block of 5th Street, kicking off at 5 p.m. on March 8-9 and March 15-16. And hey, liquor stores in the Entertainment District are punching out at the regular 8 p.m. closing time, no exceptions

And why all the fuss? Well, let's say last year's Spring Break got a little out of hand. There were shootings, arrests, you name it. It was like a beach party gone rogue, with more drama than a reality TV show.

So, to all you Spring Breakers out there: take heed of Florida's warning. Keep it cool, follow the rules, and maybe you'll survive the week with your dignity intact.

Watch the "break up" commercial below.