The Prolific Procreator and the MAGA Muva: Nick Cannon and Amber Rose Talk Trump
The "Wild 'N Out" of Politics
Now, I don't know if you’ve been keeping up with the news, but Nick Cannon—the man who is single-handedly trying to outpopulate the Earth—has decided to weigh in on the state of the union. And he brought Amber Rose with him. You remember Amber, right? She’s the one who recently traded in the SlutWalk for the Cake Walk over to the GOP.
Nick sat down and basically said, "I f*k with Trump."** Just like that. No preamble. No "Pause." Just straight into the MAGA deep end. He told the world that the Democrats are the "party of the KKK" and the Republicans are the ones who "freed the slaves."
Now, look... technically? He’s not lying about the history books. But Nick, my brother, that’s like saying, "I remember when Netflix used to mail you DVDs." Yeah, we all remember, but that ain't how the show starts anymore! You can't just skip the last eighty years of the "Great Switch" because you're mad at the tax bracket.
The Muva of All Takes
And then you’ve got Amber Rose sitting there, nodding along like she’s discovered a new element. She’s out here defending white people's "right" to say the N-word because—and get this—she thinks it’ll reduce violence.
Wait, what?
That’s like saying we should give everyone a beehive to reduce the number of bee stings. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for ‘em. I can see it now: some guy in a MAGA hat walks up to a group of brothers in Harlem, drops the hard 'R,' and says, "Relax, guys! Amber said this would make us friends!"
That man is going to meet his ancestors before he finishes the sentence.
One Big Funky Party
Nick tried to get all "intellectual" on us, too. He quoted W. E. B. Du Bois, saying there’s no such thing as two parties—just one evil party with two different names.
See, that’s that "I have 12 kids and no sleep" logic. It sounds deep until you realize you’re standing in a room with a woman who wants to hand out N-word passes like they’re Oprah’s Favorite Things.
The internet is already roasting him for clearly not helping his kids with their history homework. And they’re right! If Nick keeps this up, his kids are gonna grow up thinking Abraham Lincoln was the first host of Wild 'N Out.
At the end of the day, Nick is gonna Nick. He’s out here "rocking" with whoever makes him feel like he’s "woke" while the rest of us are just trying to figure out how he finds enough car seats for a Suburban.